Hard to be light

One of my favorite words in Finish is “ilo” which means “joy”. I love the sound, idea and meaning of it. But it is not easy to be joyful. I think it is not a coincidence that the International Labour Organization is abbreviated as ILO.

Gretchen Rubin, who writes about happiness, has concluded that it is hard to be light. By this she means that it requires work to be happy although it looks easy. But it’s not. It’s not easy to see the positive side of unpleasant things whereas it is much easier to sulk.

I knew once a person who was able to see the positive side of things. Even when that person was dying, I would hear stories about the lovely soft kitten they had or their smart son. This person had all the reason to sulk and feel miserable being in pain and emotional distress – but decided otherwise. Only years after I realise that lightness was harder to obtain than it seemed to others.

I’m terrible at being light. Becoming a parent has forced me into trying to be light. But at times, I’m sulking when I could decide otherwise. However, it seems being light gets easier when I try harder. It’s hard to be light, right?

Why to be or not to be a bitch

Tina Fey‘s comment ‘bitches get stuff done’ caught my eye some time ago and I shared it with some of my friends (yeah, via Facebook). It struck a responsive chord, so to speak, and many said amen.I begun to think why this quote was considered to be to the point. Sure we all recognise the type: a self-centred elbowing person who does anything to achieve her or his goals and considers others only as long as it benefits themselves.Sure, I get stuff done by being a bitch, bit at what cost? Am I happy having gained a goal by not considering others? Of course sometimes I don’t need to consider others because it is a matter of being a bitch to myself and making myself work harder.

The more I have been thinking about it, the more I feel the process should matter too, whether it how I treat others or myself. Unfortunately, for instance in the academia one is evaluated mainly via personal goal achievement, namely publications. Solely personal goals for career development might encourage a person to be a bitch.
Of course, in the academia it is allowed to cooperate and co-author, but how can one build cooperation by being a bitch? To me it seems that this is possible only by provoking fear. Bitches get stuff done because others are willing to cooperate only because they are too afraid to decline. Meanwhile, they create exit strategies. But the minute the chances are there, others will do something else.It all comes back to what is important in my life: getting stuff done or enjoying the process. I have been starting to think why do I need to get stuff done anyways? To gain a living, sure. However, to me it seems it is nicer to gain a living in genuine cooperation with others rather than being a bitch.

Excess of money and everything

I happened to come across a Vanity Fair from last summer and got caught on an article about prince Jefri. I usually never pay attention to superrich as in Finland the little of them tends to keep a low profile. When I do pay attention to extreme wealth it is because I’m astonished how oddly the money is used. Usually it annoys me, and reading about prince Jerfi made no exception. I guess it is enough to say that has or has had a yacht named Tits, which came with lifeboats named Nipple 1 and Nipple 2.

It’s not that money wouldn’t make my or others’ lives easier. Additionally, it is quite easy to lament about money from a Nordic welfare country. Yet, Mammonism provokes me. Isn’t life about something else than acquiring loads of money and showing it off?

Excess of anything makes you sick. It could be money, poverty, sugar, or alcohol. It can also be a feeling, like jealousy, enthusiasm, or fatigue. At least I’m easy to lose my personal balance unless I’m careful enough to listen myself. And not just the first voice craving for more chocolate.

In the end it is a matter of happiness. How does one choose to live? The old wisdom says that money doesn’t make you happy. Thus, spending millions of dollars per month is not a necessary condition for happiness. If it is I am never going to be happy!